#nothing was backed up bc yk. i didn't think about my phone

[catboybrain]

pixel 5a motherboard shat itself. all my photos + files from freshman year of college gone. thanks google

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, jump then fall au!

au masterlist! masterlist!

♡ ─ word count | 2.6k

♡ ─ summary | the story of how our little paloma came to be, and why adam has full custody of her.

♡ ─ warnings | mention of pregnancy (obvs), mention of abusive/manipulative relationship, some birth stuff but nothing graphic like at all, think that is all??

♡ ─ taglist | @literatureluster @valluvsu @lvrzegras @iminlovewithtz11 (fill in form in my navigation in you are interested!)

♡ ─ ev's notes | im finally back lol, the last nonnie inspired me to continue my series but i also saw the adam/luca content on instagram and i was like... yes i love these men with my entire soul. anyway, this is more background/filler chapter on the whole story behind adam/his ex. also idk if i did a good job making emma kind of unlikable but i couldn't make her too much bc at the end of day she is dovey's mom yk LMAOOO. but yeah, i was gonna include a little court segment but i didn't think it was necessary. this is kinda a summary of the timeline so yeah BUT YETH WE ARE BACK AT ITT!!!!! will be writing a more christmas-y one soon though i pinky promise :) LASTLY, my inbox is always open for au thoughts. please send them in, they literally make my entire day!

September ushered in a peculiar kind of unease, a restlessness that only settled within the corridors of high school, unbeknownst to Adam. The weight of impending change hung in the air, a feeling that clung to him as he navigated the familiar chaos that came with being a teenager.

It began with a murmur, a whisper weaving its way through the complicated tapestry of gossip. The news was illicit, news that would shatter the simplicity of his teenage years. Adam's ex, Emma, a figure exiled to his past, was harboring a secret that would bridge their worlds in a way he never anticipated.

The autumn breeze carried an unusual tension as Adam found himself standing before the door of Emma's house, a place he thought he had left behind in the remains of the failed relationship. She had called him about two hours ago, telling him that she had needed to talk to him immediately about something very important. He hesitated for a moment, hand poised to knock, before the door swung open, revealing Emma's worn expression.

"Adam," she greeted, her eyes avoiding direct contact, as if unable to meet the weight of his gaze. They hadn't talked in a couple weeks, since they had broken up.

"What's going on, Emma?" Adam asked, sensing the gravity of the situation even before she spoke.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, laden with the weight of the secret she carried. "We need to talk," Emma murmured, gesturing for him to enter.

"Yeah, figured." He sighed. He didn't know if he was able to trust her after all the lies she had told him over the span of their relationship. This may be one of her ploys to somehow get him back.

He went into the familiar home as she guided him up to her room anxiously and his mind was racing. What could possibly be so important that she couldn't text him, or tell him over the phone?

They reached her room and he sat on her bed as Emma paced anxiously, the rhythm of her steps echoing the gravity of her secret. Finally, she turned to face him, her eyes brimming with vulnerability that he hadn't seen in a while.

"I'm pregnant," she confessed, the words hanging in the air like a storm about to break.

Pregnant? Her words hung in the air for a few moments as he looked for any sign of deception in her expression. But no, she looked like she was about to break down in front of him. The room seemed to close in on him, and he could feel the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future colliding.

He couldn't even process it. "What?" Was all he could mutter.

Emma's gaze wavered as Adam's single-word response lingered in the room. The weight of the secret settled between them, an unspoken acknowledgment of the life-altering reality they were now forced to confront.

"I didn't plan for any of this," Emma continued, her voice shaky. "I never wanted it to happen."

Adam's brow furrowed as he tried to process the mix of emotions swirling within him. Anger, confusion, and a distant sense of responsibility danced on the edges of his thoughts. His head was spinning with questions.

"Why now?" he questioned, the frustration evident in his tone. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Emma's eyes welled with tears, and she seemed on the verge of unraveling. "I didn't know how. I was scared, Adam. Scared of your reaction, scared of what it would mean for both of us. I mean I have school and-and I can't have a kid right now."

The room felt suffocating, the air heavy with unspoken accusations and the weight of their shared history. Adam's mind raced, torn between the desire to understand and the lingering mistrust that had defined their past.

Adam's jaw tightened as he absorbed her words, a tumult of conflicting emotions churning within him. "Scared?" he repeated, a sharp edge to his voice. "You think dropping this bombshell now will magically make things less complicated?"

He didn't want to sound like an asshole but he couldn't help it. All she was thinking about was her future, her life and nothing to do with what his dreams, the ones he's had since he was younger. How could he go into the NHL with a kid and unstable ex?

Emma's tears flowed freely now. "I never meant for it to be like this. I just... I needed to tell you. I can't do this alone, Adam."

He rubbed his temples, trying to alleviate the growing tension. "You should've thought about that before. Now, what? What do you expect me to do?"

She reached out tentatively, as if seeking reassurance in the midst of the storm. "I want you to be a part of this, Adam. Our child deserves that, at least."

He takes her hand and his gaze softens as he heard her voice. Our child sounded so sweet, but he didn't want to go through what she put him through again.

He sighed heavily, a mixture of frustration and concern etched on his face. "Emma, you can't drop something like this on me and expect everything to be okay. We're not together anymore, and I can't just rearrange my life because of this."

Her eyes pleaded with him, desperation evident. "I know, but I can't do it alone. I need your support, Adam. We created this life together."

He pulled his hand away gently, creating a bit of distance. "Support? Emma, you've never supported my dreams. You made me doubt everything I did. I can't risk my future for this, not when I don't even know if you're going to stick around."

As the room descended into silence, the air seemed to crackle with the tension of unspoken truths. Adam's mind, however, echoed with the memories of a relationship colored by manipulation and emotional turmoil.

He couldn't shake the vivid memories of countless arguments, where Emma would twist his words, making him question his own sanity. Her subtle undermining of his dreams and aspirations left a trail of self-doubt that lingered long after their fights and maybe relationship had ended.

Emma's manipulation often took the form of subtle remarks disguised as concern. Every success he achieved was met with a backhanded compliment or a comment that subtly belittled his accomplishments. Her words had a way of eroding his confidence, making him second-guess his abilities. Was he even that good of a hockey player? Was he as smart as everyone would tell him?

She played on his insecurities, subtly exploiting vulnerabilities he hadn't even acknowledged. Emma's behavior manifested in controlling behaviors, whether it was telling him who he could spend time with or subtly isolating him from his support system. The gradual corrosion of his social connections left Adam feeling increasingly dependent on her for validation.

Emma's manipulation extended beyond words or fights; it was their daily interactions. The constant emotional rollercoaster left him drained and disoriented. Adam had become used to walking on eggshells, terrified of setting off another emotional outburst.

Adam found himself grappling with a mix of anger and resentment. The secret of her pregnancy now added a new layer to their complicated history, one that threatened to entangle their lives again.

The heaviness of the past hung in the air, a palpable reminder of the emotional scars that had yet to fully heal. The silence in Emma's room mirrored the unresolved scars of their relationship, leaving Adam to confront the challenging path that lay ahead.

He thought he had ended this relationship for good but now, he truly couldn't leave. Knowing that if he wouldn't stay, she would raise the baby alone and he would live forever with the knowledge of his kid somewhere with her. If they were to be together again, even just to raise the baby, he would promise that he would try to shield the baby from his mother as much as he could.

Emma's eyes brimmed with tears as she pleaded, "Adam, I'll change. I promise. I never realized how much I hurt you until now. I want to be a better person, for you and for our child."

Adam hesitated, his gaze flickering between her tearful eyes and the haunting memories of their past. The room seemed to close in around him as he grappled with conflicting emotions.

"Okay, Emma." He sighed. She let out a sob of joy, bringing him in for a tight hug.

──

JUNE 11, 2021

──

Summer arrived quicker than either had expected and soon enough Emma was in third trimester. In the sterile confines of the white hospital room, Adam stood witness to the arrival of their daughter. It was a moment of transformation, where the happiness of newfound fatherhood collided with the stark reality of uncertainty. Emotions played on his face, he had no idea how he was going to deal with any of it.

But as soon as tiny newborn baby laid in his arms, all the worries and uncertainty had faded into background noise as he held her with all the care in the world.

In that moment, everything else seemed to fade away. The worries, the uncertainties, the complexities—they all became distant as Adam cradled his daughter. Her tiny features, scrunched face, and the weight of her presence overwhelmed him, he couldn't help but tear up. She was perfect in every way. In that moment, he promised he would never let anyone hurt her in anyway possible.

He felt a surge of love, a protective instinct that whispered promises of care and unconditional devotion. The uncertainty that had clouded his thoughts seemed inconsequential in the face of the profound connection forged with this tiny being.

"She's perfect," he whispered, his voice barely audible in the quiet room. The fragility of the newborn, the embodiment of a shared history and a future full of unknowns, stirred something deep within him. All he knew was that he loved her more than anything even if he'd only held her for a few moments.

Emma, watching Adam with a mix of exhaustion and affection, couldn't help but smile. "She's got your eyes," she remarked, a tender note in her voice. His pretty, big blue eyes. The first thing anyone ever notices about him.

Adam nodded, his gaze fixed on the tiny features of his daughter. "Yeah? Well, she's got your everything else," he added, a gentle chuckle escaping him. The weight of fatherhood settled on his shoulders, but in that moment, it felt like a privilege.

The room seemed to shrink, focusing solely on this new family unit. The soft whimpers of the newborn, the beeping of the monitoring equipment, and the distant sounds of the hospital—all merged into the backdrop of a moment that felt suspended in time.

Emma looked at Adam with tired yet contented eyes, a silent understanding passing between them. The room, once filled with the tension of labor, was now a cocoon of familial warmth.

Emma whispered, her voice hoarse from the exertion of childbirth, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

As Adam and Emma marveled at the beauty of their newborn daughter, the hospital room's door creaked open, and Adam's parents entered with a blend of excitement and nervousness. His mother, a mix of emotions painted on her face, rushed forward to embrace Adam.

"Oh, Adam, sweetheart, you're a father!" she exclaimed, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears of joy.

Adam smiled warmly, hugging his mother. "Yeah, Mom. Meet..." His words died on tongue when he realized they hadn't picked out a name for her yet.

"We haven't decided on a name yet," Emma adds quietly as she yawns.

"What about Paloma? Like your grandmother. It's perfect, just look at her."

Adam's eyes met Emma's, and for a moment, a silent agreement passed between them. Paloma—the perfect name, a homage to his grandmother, a symbol of heritage and a new beginning. They exchanged a nod, and Adam turned back to his parents.

"Paloma," he said, a smile breaking across his face. "Her name is Paloma."

The decision settled like a warm blanket, wrapping around the newborn with a sense of identity. Paloma, their little dove, had found her name in the embrace of a moment filled with love and the promise of a shared journey ahead.

──

Adam's frustration simmered beneath the surface as he and Emma found themselves ensnared in yet another argument. The air in the room crackled with tension, a silent precursor to the storm that was about to erupt. Paloma, blissfully unaware in her crib, slept soundly, while her parents grappled with the unresolved issues.

"I can't keep doing this, Emma," Adam muttered, his jaw clenched. The weight of unresolved issues hung heavily between them, each word an echo of past disagreements. "We need to talk."

Emma, her expression defensive, crossed her arms, a subtle defiance in her stance. "What's there to talk about, Adam? Everything's fine."

A bitter laugh escaped him with the weight of their shared history. "Everything's far from fine, and you know it. Paloma needs stability, and you can't keep pretending that everything's okay when it's not."

Emma's eyes flashed with irritation. "I'm her mother, Adam. I know what's best for her."

Adam's jaw clenched, frustration palpable. "You barely spend time with her but refuse my help. Every time I ask you to be a part of her life, you find an excuse. This isn't fair to Paloma, and it's not fair to me especially when you dragged me into this in the first place."

Paloma stirred in her crib, a subtle reminder of the fragile peace that hung in the balance. The argument, a reflection of their complicated past, loomed over them, threatening to unravel the delicate threads that held their connection together.

Emma's gaze hardened, and she retorted, "I didn't force you into anything, Adam. You were a part of this too, remember?"

Adam's frustration escalated, his voice sharper. "I was a part of it because I wanted to be a father to Paloma, not because I wanted to be stuck in this cycle with you. I can't keep watching you push me away, I wanna be apart of her life-"

She scoffed, a bitter edge to her tone. "You act like I'm the bad guy here. I'm doing my best, Adam."

"You dragged me into this," he continued, a sharp edge to his tone. "I fought to be a part of Paloma's life because I wanted to, but you make it impossible. This isn't about us anymore; it's about her. You need to step up and be a mother, like you'd wanted to almost a year ago when you decided to have her."

Emma's eyes narrowed, defensive walls fortified. "I am her mother. But you don't get to dictate how I should do things. I have my own life, Adam-"

"And Paloma is a part of that life, whether you like it or not!" Adam yelled, the frustration in his voice reaching a boiling point. "I can't keep covering for you, Emma. My mom asks where you're at and half the time, I don't even fucking know. You can't just show up when it's convenient for you and disappear when it's not."

Paloma's soft cries began, the room filled with the sound of her distress, a reflection of the anger surrounding her. Adam's frustration transformed into determination. "I won't let you keep hurting her with your inconsistency, especially when she's old enough to remember. If you can't be a constant presence in her life, then maybe it's better if you're not a part of it at all."

The words hung in the air, a heavy proclamation that seemed to mark the unraveling of their already strained connection. Emma, caught between defiance and vulnerability, met Adam's gaze with a steely resolve, setting the stage for a tumultuous chapter in the story of Paloma's fractured family.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[elis-blawg222]

November 8 - Friday

Whew! Caught up at last!! (took me long enough)

Today was actually pretty good. I called Angel before school which made me really happy!! (I love him sm ill sob rn actually). My class wasn't toooo bad. The teacher talked sooo much ugh, but I drew the whole time so it was fine. I made my oc thinnn n pretty, love him. Also we had to go around the room and talk to people for like 30 minutes. 30. (did yk you have 30 minutes??)

It was so nerve wracking, especially because I was unprepared lol. I bet I looked like such a total weirdo with the lack of eye contact I was making, but at the time I was just trying not to break a nervous sweat LMAO.

Then, after my class I went to the library (on call w/Ange) and did an assignment. I went home afterwards because my phone was gonna die, and I needed my charger.

After a bit at home, I went to my next class, and I had a test in this one. It went good I think! We studied beforehand which I'm really grateful for.

We had a break in this class, so I went to walk around for a minute, and during this my mom texted me with:

"Eli

What did u eat today"

...

nothing. So, I said "I had some chicken nuggetss after my class hehe"

to which she responded "No fries no pop. How many nuggets"

GURL. So i was like "I did get some fries lol? and i got 10 why?"

and she just CONVENIENTLY NEVER RESPONDED. UGH.

(but wait theres more.)

After my class ended I went home and got ready for work. I was otp w/Angel (because seriously when am I not?) and he was playing minecraft. It was so peaceful and entertaining to watch and listen to him play- I loved every bit of it. Then, we talked about how we should play together (I ltrly will do anything to idc).

Work was actually ehh, not toooo bad. My dad and friend and her mom stopped by which was nice, and also my hairdresser LOL. They both tipped really well (obviously my dad did but yk).

I went home after what felt like one billion years, I was so so so happy. When I got home I just said a few things about my day like I usually do, and made sure to slip in the fact that I got a free meal at work. Which isn't wrong, I did, but I didn't get anything. I actually am just gonna let my friend get something tomorrow. but they don't have to know all that shhhhhhhh.

Then my mom stopped in front of me and was like what did you eat? and so i repeated myself bc no one listens to me <3

(I told her fried chicken tenders, fries, mac and cheese for context, a very 'me' meal tbh or at least it was)

Then, she was like "how many chicken tenders?" "no drink?" "did you finish it? all of it?" "so then you ate 2 full meals today?"

oh. my god. like. genuinely.

why. is. she. interrogating. me. pls. fucking. leave. me. alone. IM GENUINELY MORTIFIED AND HONESTLY IM SO AGGRIVATED. LET ME STARVE IN PEACE HOLY FUCK.

I tried to act like a normal person and be like ??? why are you interrogating me? BC WHY ARE YOU (as if I'm not literally starving myself)

She was just like "because I need to make sure you're getting nutrients." ok girl.

Then, I went to my room and she went to bed. I cleaned my room a bit and did a homework assignment, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

Also if you couldn't tell by now I fasted today. I was gonna either 48 hr fast or do 2 24 hr fasts back to back, but I think I'm just gonna do around 36 hrs. I wanna eat in front of my mom tomorrow so maybe she'll start leaving me alone (I seriously doubt it).

It just gets really frustrating when every meal I have she thinks isn't enough, even when I'm genuinely full. I can't eat like I used to like I physically cannot, she has to get that.

Anywho, I was thinking of making some cucumber boats tomorrow, I think it'll be fun.

Total Steps: 6.7k

Look at me meeting my step goal for once. I'm gonna start really making an effort at meeting it!

'Til tomorrow :)

(P.S. actually getting activity on these makes me so nervous but haiii)

[mera-k1]

Can we get transfem!reader with Allen like, she had been anxious to confess to Allen, afraid that he might reject her bcs she's trans but then turns he had been having crush on her too for a while? Maybe with anne spilling the beans to Allen that he got a not-so-secret admirer~ :D

ofc, nonnie!! enjoy♡♡

Pride Event - June 6th

Allen Sugasano x transfem!reader

-fluff, actually so proud of this one so i hope you guys enjoy..

-ahh.. so u like allen?-

-yes! he's so cute:((-

-thennn, why don't u tell him, (name)? i'm sure he likes u too!-

you bit your lip as you watched anne type and send that message. hurriedly, you typed a message back.

-i can't do that!-

anne typed for a moment and then stopped. you nervously bit your nail, typing out something else and stopped before sending it, watching a message appear from their end.

-look, if being trans is what u're worried about then look at me! gender didn't stop allen from being friends with me, yk!-

another message quickly came after their first one.

-plus, u and him are already friends too so there's nothing to worry about-

anne sighed as they watched you type and stop countless times. it was late at night and they had only gotten home from club candy not long ago. placing their phone on their bed, they got up and walked off towards allens room. the door was cracked open, letting out a sliver of bright light into the dark apartment.

"allennn." anne opened the door, inviting themselves into his room. he was mumbling something to himself as he clicked away at his computer, eyebags present under his eyes. sighing, they walked over and clonked him on the head, jerking the music zombie out of him.

"huh- wha-? anne?" he looked up in a daze at them, almost too out of it to even be upset with them for clonking him on the head like that. "that kinda hurt y'know.." he rubbed the top his head. sitting down beside him, anne reached to grab his phone causing a surprised shout from allen. "hey-! that's my phone, what're you doing with that?!"

"be quiet, hajun's sleeping," they said as they typed in the password. allen nervously watched as anne swiped through his phone before landing on the messaging app and scrolling through contacts.

"so- uh.. what are you doing...?" he hesitantly asked as they stopped scrolling when you contact popped up.

"helping you out," they answered as if it was obvious, "this is (name), right?" they pointed to a contact with a name different from the rest of the contacts. he responded with a nod and anne clicked, the message, typing a quick message.

-u up?-

"that is NOT how i type!" he snatched the phone from annes hand and watched as you respond almost immediately.

"that is so how you type, allen."

-yea i'm up. wsp?-

"why'd you text her?! how is that 'helping me'??" he looked over at anne, confused and tired. they sighed in response.

"you really are dumb, allen," another buzz came from his phone.

-did u need help or smth?-

they could just imagine the amount of messages they were getting on their own phone from you now... "tell her that you like her already! you've been holding out long enough, i'm tired of being the one in the middle!" allens fingers froze as he was typing a quick apology to you about how anne had texted you, not him.

"wh-?!" he sputtered out some nonsense excuse about how he couldn't do that yet as his face turned red.

"she likes you too, allen," anne gave him a reassuring pat on his shoulder, "just ask her out already!" a final pat on his shoulder was given before they left the room, leaving allen alone and staring at his phone and his mind going at what felt like a million miles a minute.

-no it's not that-

you had a hunch anne had done something when they had stopped responding to your texts so suddenly when you knew they had to still be awake. and then allen texting you out of the blue? too much of a coincidence. or maybe you were just over thinking...

you kept deleting and retyping messages before just sending a question mark. okay, maybe that was too uninterested...

-can u call?-

a message buzzed a moment later.

-please?-

-wait nvm. i'll just tell u rn-

okay... weird but not unexpected from allens spontaneous decision making skills. you watched patiently as he typed and typed for what felt like hours, your heart beginning to beat faster as you wondered what he could possibly be typing for so long. did he not want to be friends with you? or maybe he just missed talking to you? well.. those two options seemed kind of stupid to think about but you didn't want to consider the possible third option that seemed even more farfetched than either of those.

-i kinda rlly rlly like u-

it took him that long just to type that? you couldn't blame him and you could only imagine his thinking face as he turned it over in his mind on how he could phrase it.

-you're so stupid, allen.-

-i like you too-

-<3-

[viasdreams]

Via😬

I have a story to tell and I thought you would enjoy some shit talking with me🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

So..I met this boy about 3-4 years ago. We're gonna call him Missile. When i met Missile we weren't very close and we didn't really talk, he was just kind of a friend of a friend. UNTIL. A few months later, (i met him in like march and this was the febuary after) were at another mutual friends birthday party that I lowk didn't even know he was going to🧍‍♀️

At this party, it was only me, the birthday person, and Missile that were friends. Besides that it was just all of birthday dude's family (we're gonna call him Trumpet) and Missile's brother (we're gonna call him Stack). So I get to know Missile a little more personally, I already knew a lot abt him bc of the friend that introduced us, but this was the first chance I'd gotten to know him from him if that makes sense. I meet Stack, he's super cool, and we just spend the whole time messing around and being friends.

I go home eventually right, it think it was like 11 pm ish, I've drank copious amounts of pool water, and I know how Missile' phone number. The thought of this silly dude keeps me up for almost another 3 hours and long story short I LIKE him.

For awhile it was just a lil crush, nothing crazy but like "Hey, he's nice and super cute that's cool". We still don't hang out a whole much bc of conflicting schedules but yk we talk a little more now.

We end up going to another mutual friend's birthday party in April (this time I knew he was gonna be there tho), I originally went to this birthday party with a crush on another dude bc I was just closer to him ❌️❌️❌️❌️ THE SECOND I SAW MISSILE OTHER DUDE WAS FORGOTTEN. (Also, we're gonna call 2nd birthday friend Taeil bc she's a BITCH. And you'll see why later👿)

But so, me and Missle spent the better portion of this party together. We sit next to eachother in groups, whenever I went up to go get something he'd come with me, me and his brother played a few games together while he watched. We were being very coolie-o. And i come to the realization that I don't just like him, I REALLY like him. It's not just a crush anymore😬

I spend a LONG time really really liking him. Everybody kinda knows but I've never really told him. Like, he knew, but he didn't know from ME. I didn't really try to hide it I just never outright said it. But anyways. Like a year into this crush, Taeil fricking gets with him. They only dated for like a few days (he didn't like her very much), but ever since then she avoided me LIKE. THE. PLAGUE. Obviously I can't claim him, he can date whoever he wants, but it was the fact she avoided me completely that made me realize she did it just to fuck with me (👿 grr)

But they break up, and a month later I'm kind of starting to get over him, me and him go on a school trip to California. Our music department (he played viola, I do percussion and violin) goes every 3-ish years to compete. We do the competition, coolness, then we go to Disneyland.

There was some more drama but it's unrelated to this story (lemme know if you wanna hear it tho😬), but the group i was in (me and like 2 other friends) got split up. One friend goes with another group and me and the other friend go with GUESS WHO. MISSILES GROUP.

Me and Missile AGAIN spend the entire day with eachother. We sat next to eachother on al the rides, we went and got food together, he let me wear his hat for a little bit, he held my hand on a few of the rides😖 (i have motion issues. We did a few rides with drops and my heart legit tried to jump out my throat🧍‍♀️) We trauma bonded a lil bit. Super awesome.

That whole trip made me feelings SO. MUCH. WORSE.

Time skip to September (trip was in may), Missile and Taeil get back together. She again, avoids me and my other friend (who used to be her bestfriend) like fucking malaria. Which ykw, at that point i didn't care abt her anymore but what shocked me was that

The day before they got together. She was talking to her ex. She was talking to her friends abt how she wanted to get back with her ex Julio. She also is best friends with Missile's ex now?? Like, his very first gf..who cheated on him..and told him she never liked him in the first place?? That ex.

I also, in September went to HIS birthday party (which his gf was not at?). We hung out a little bit, but he mainly hung out with his friends from other schools since he doesn't see them alot (fair🙂‍↕️). But while at this party Trumpet makes a few jokes abt how Missile wished Taeil was there so they could go make out or smth idk Trumpet is immature af🧍‍♀️ and this puts an image in my head I DO NAWT LIKE.

So I spiral for the next few hours, go home when the party ends,cry in my car yall know the deal. The day after I confess to him😔 I couldn't stop myself I genuinely think a part of me died when Trumpet decided to toot. I didn't except anything to come out of the confession, I just needed to get it off my chest yk

He tells me that he used to have a crush on me (WHAT😦😦) but he never told me because he wasn't ready for a relationship after what happened with his first ex. He got with Taeil bc he thought I didn't like him anymore (boys are so dumb.). He told me he wasn't going to leave his gf for me, which I understood, but that me and him could try something in the future if they don't work out (🤭)

A month or two of shitting on Taeil (for both being a bad friend and some other messed up things she's done.) My friend let's it slip that the last time they talked Taeil had 6. ONLINE BFS. LIKE WHAT??? HELLO??

I tell my other friend, and she confirms😦😦

Taeil does indeed have 5-6 online creeps!

But i have no proof other than what people have told me..so I don't tell Missile😔

I also was scared that no one would believe me if I told anyone bc they would think I just wanted an excuse to break them up.

So, even more shitting on i come across a Spotify playlist..on Taeil's account..that' dedicated to, quess who, HER EX JULIO. The description is like "I love him so much. Why did I loose him. COME BACK TO ME J💏♥️"

😐

So I tell Missile. Send him the sss and everything and..thats where we are now! Idk if they broke up or anything, but I haven't seen them talk since.

Sincerely, pookie 👻

DAMN !!! this is the longest ask ive ever received 😱

the way you write is silly also, i enjoyed my scroll thorugh 🤭

TBH missile is a bit of a bitch for not getting with you because "he wasn't ready" and then getting with taeil....like what the freak

hopefully, they break up !!

make him beg and grovel to get with you also if they do !!!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas it's sapphic anon again

so my friend was dating someone (they broke up over a month ago) and she immediately started liking someone else which is fine except every time she likes someone she makes it 95% of her personality and by extension our conversations and it's come to the point where she switched of her phone bc and i quote "90% of my phone life is about her" now it could just be me but i dont get how some people just completely make their lives about romantic attachments like she's talking about the next few months in terms of what will happen in her pining stage for that person and yeah, we're best friends i'm more than willing to listen to her rants but every single conversation is about who she likes like sometimes i feel like just telling her to shut tf up bc she's honestly the type of person who'd choose her relationship over friendships that have lasted for years. it happened last time but it was her first time and she said she'd never choose a relationship over us again but i highly doubt it. and um so i also like this girl i used to like her before but she did something shitty so i got over her but i kinda like her again now which is complicated af but idk how to really feel about the shitty thing she did (context: she fatshamed a girl who just happened to be tall and broad) and this friend is the only one i told about it and obviously now that i might like this girl again i want to yk work through my problems with what she said first and she just dismissed it by saying that the girl i liked was confusing and went straight back to talking about who she liked?? and apparently, according to my friend, the girl was looking at me and then shit happened over text but i finally got texted back and i told her obviously and she was just like happy for the span of one message and then started asking me if the girl she liked had posted anything while she had been offline. she also keeps going "i miss having a girlfriend" and i got so sick of it that i just told her that maybe she should get a life outside of romantic attachments because i cannot keep putting up with this every single time she has a crush. to top it off, i sent her some song lyrics about things we want never working out and i genuinely feel like it and have seen it in my life but things she wants keeps happening and she knows it too but she had the nerve to go "real" like ik some friends do that and it works for them but why does she have to make things that aren't even about her about herself. lastly their was a song i dedicated to the girl i like rn the last time i liked her and it's a song in one of our country's major languages but we aren't really fluent in it and i had told her that i had kinda dedicated it to the girl and she listened to it a few days ago and said she understood nothing so i sent her the translation and today she literally quoted a line from it, making it about her and the girl she currently likes and ik i have no claim to the song but she didn't have to take a song that i had dedicated to someone and make it about her and someone else especially when she knew that i had dedicated it to someone and like, yes, this feeling's irrational but i didn't go around dedicating songs she had told me made her think about someone to other people and what makes me so angry is that she had never really listened to that song before i mentioned it and like, not everything is about her.

i remember back when she was dating her ex we had a huge fight because she insisted on dragging that girl everywhere with her even when i wanted to have a private conversation with her and she ignored me for an entire week and i broke the silence first and we discussed our issues but she never really replied to my explanation about the things she had a problem with me doing and didn't say much about the problems i had with her and a week later when i brought it up saying that i had more shit to say, she just went "yeah if you say it now i wont listen bc if you tell me something more than once i dont really feel like it" but we're best friends and i want to talk about my feelings and she just swept it under the rug and acted like she had nothing to apologise for and when i said that i wanted her to acknowledge that she was in the wrong too bc she kept acting like she was a saint she went "sorry for what? not spending time with you?" like i'm her best friend and the relationship was so codependent i rarely ever saw her in school and when they broke up it turns out that me and all her other friends (she even cut one off for talking shit about her ex) were right about her ex and she was like "im so sorry" and bc this was during the exams and i didn't have the time to argue or shit i was like "it's okay you were in love" except it isn't okay but i don't want to bring it up again. not to mention that she completely villainised me during that week to all her friends who i'm not friends with and made me out into this possessive toxic best friend who couldn't stand being replaced and couldn't be happy for her best friend (ik i'm possessive sometimes but never that concerningly). i was happy for her until i saw the red flags and got worried for her and tried to protect her from heartbreak bc a couple of months in they were already saying "i love you" and saying that they'd get married and shit and i didn't think her ex cared enough about her (spoiler: she didn't). i can't even be harsh towards her because she'll either end up crying (which she does rarely) or it'll end in a fight and her birthday's coming up and i don't want us to be mad at each other on that day. (jeez how much of my life and actions do i base around her feelings.) anyways sorry for all of this it kinda got too long and i feel bad bc so many people keep asking you for advice and i don't really want to add to that load

Hi!

Honestly, I think you need to like...lay out what you need to your friend. It sounds like you need times where you can talk about your feelings and emotions without things being brought back to her. You need time spent together, without any significant others. And I think the thing is, you need to calmly say this to her. Because there's a chance she's unaware of what she's doing and even if she is aware, you can at least say that you gave her the benefit of the doubt. After you calmly say what you need, if she still doesn;t give that to you, you know she isn't a good friend to you. And you have a right to walk away at that point, or readjust your expectations. But you need to share how you're feeling or nothing is going to change, you know?

Sending love and naming you spoiler anon!

[icejello]

Yk sometimes i just think back about my life and just... question why I go through the things that happened. When ppl knew i was the youngest child, they would jokingly tell me like "oh you must be so pampered! I bet you're spoiled by your parents a lot!" And i just take a second to look at them before laughing it off like "yeah not really, I don't really get the 'youngest child privileges' or get pampered that much," and ppl would brush me off with "don't be silly, why would you parents ever treat you bad? You're pretty and really smart, ofc they would love you!"

That doesn't explain why I have to be the person my brother never could be. I don't see why i have to be pushed to be the person that my brother failed to be while they continue to pamper and spoil my older brother and yell at me for every single thing that didn't go their way. Growing up, my dad was absent for almost 9 years of it, he worked away from home and wasn't even there when my mom gave birth to me. My mom was a teacher and it was obvious to me even as a little child that she loved my brother more.

Everything was fine, I was close with my brother, he was 2 years older than me, i didn't have any friends in the neighborhood aside from him. He started primary school and suddenly everything just...changed. He hated me, yelled at me, bullied me. I was left home alone with only my babysitter day after day until night bcs my mom works at a school far away and my brother is also studying there.

I'd cry to my mother bcs of the bullying, she would tell me to just let it go bcs my brother loves me. My brother told me how i should've died when i was born bcs i was nothing but problem to my mother, i was 8. She brushed it off and said "your brother loves you, he doesn't mean it," since when did 10 year olds say stuffs like that to their little sister? The more i cried, the more he would bully me to the point i stopped crying, i started feeling rage instead and fighting him back. I yell back at him for bullying me, my mother tells me to apologize. She scolded me for yelling at my brother, she always picked him in every fight, even the ones he started, it was always my fault. "He was your brother, you should've forgiven him!" But he hurt me first "your brother never meant it, how could you even think about hurting his feelings back?" I barely cried after that, I don't remember the last time i actually truly cried.

I tried my best to seek some approval from my mother, anything just as long as she was happy with me too. She filled my morning, afternoons, evenings and nights filled with studying, I studied as hard i could, i NEED to make her happy. I scored first in class everytime, my teachers and friends congratulate me and praise me, my own mother never said congratulations. I got second in class once, still excellent results and she called me an embarrassment and a failure. I blamed myself that day, called myself stupid, i was just 9. I scored first place and straight As during my final big exam when i was 12, i never did get a congratulations or hear her say I'm proud.

My brother keeps failing his exams, rebelling against my mom, throwing tantrums when things doesn't go his way, my mother never told him he was an embarrassment. I wonder why i am one. He'd ask for phones and other devices and he would always get it, i ask for one and i get yelled at. Anything he wants to buy during shopping he would get it, i ask fot something and all I'd get was complaints and reasons why I don't need it. It was the same thing my brother asked for and he got his.

"Your mother is doing that bcs she knows what a harsh society we live in, a world where males are dominant and she's pushing you so you can be strong," was that really it? Was it necessary that she called me fat and body shamed me everytime i eat when i have average body size? Was it necessary that she compared me to every single girl there is? "Your cousin got 5As, i expect you to get the same" i did and you told me that it was nothing to be proud of and i was lacking. Was it necessary for her to make me feel that i am one second away from fucking up every single time? Was it needed for her to never tell me she was proud and happy of me? "Your mother made you the independent woman you are today!" I was a child, i yearned for a mom. I yearned for the same attention you're giving to my brother as you take your time to teach him but tell me to try and figure things out myself if i asked for help.

Ig the biggest thing that linger on my mind is last year. It was midnight and i was waiting for my flight back to my state. It was a 2 hour flight and i had a busy day, i would be arriving around 2 am and you told me to immediately go back to my hometown which is an 8 hour drive from the airport. I told my mother that i wanted to stay at my cousin's house for a while and rest before going back and you got angry. I didn't need to hear your voice to know you were yelling through your angry texts. I was tired, don't i deserve to get a break? I told you to try and consider my feelings and you told me "what about you? Have you ever considered my feelings? Have you ever made me happy or proud? Exactly, you haven't." I've suspected it, the way you never said you were proud or happy throughout my childhood, especially not while i went through a burnout during highschool, you never even said a single congratulations to me but I tried so hard to believe that perhaps you just didn't want to express your happiness. You always told my brother congratulations for even tbe simplest things, he gets even a single A and you would be celebrating it, weren't the results i give to you were what you always hoped for? You pushed me for it bcs you told me that my brother lacks in his studies, so why does it always feel like i could never be better than him?

But i was wrong, i was always an embarrassment to you, a failure and nothing more than a headache to you. Perhaps my brother was right all those years ago, i really was nothing more than a problem for her, for the family. I wasn't as feminine as she wanted, i wasn't as smart as she hoped for, I wasn't as slim, i wasn't as religious, I wasn't the perfect child she hoped for. Bcs my brother could not be the perfect child and that's alright, i can be the replacement instead but was that all i was? Nothing more than an achievement child to get all those and it is just that, an achievement bcs those weren't from your son? Sometimes i think about my life and i question, why was i never good enough? Why does my existence seem like nothing more than a thorn in my mother's side?

Mother, do you remember when you yelled at me to go to my room and study? It was your birthday, i was excited to hug you and kiss you happy birthday but you yelled at me to stop bothering you and i locked myself in my room instead. I studied as fast i could so i could get to work on making you a birthday card. I slipped it into my workbook when i handed it to you, you didn't even give me a single glance. It was a pink heart shaped card with little stars, do you remember? I sat in my room anxiously waiting for you to open it. I was 10 but do you remember what i wrote in it? "Happy birthday mumy! I love you and even though i know you love my brother more than me, i still love you very much!" You told me that you loved the both of us equally, why did you never showed it?

[cosmicshikarii]

omg I just realized ur requests are open im stupid HAHAHA

anyway 🚶‍♀️ could I request hajime, nagito, and sayori with an S/O who's basically junko reincarnated? like, basically, their S/O has different personalities bc they get bored of themselves so easily, clothes are revealing, etc. yk

mwa /p

Ignore the fact im writing this while in the middle of changing everything about my blog. Also! I will not be mentioning Junko as much but only mentioning some of her attributes. Also this will be hcs! This is actually like the longest post Ive made-

Also im sorry for being inactive 😭 anyways here we goo!!!

Hajime, Nagito and Sayori with a S/O that's a lot like Junko!

Hajime my favorite Orange<33

At first when meeting you (pre dating) he didn't expect you to be so.. how do I put this? Uh like have such revealing clothes in a elite school like this (preferably non killing game au) He honestly found the fact that your just like so sad because you probably got a bad grade and your like "Oh well! I think im going to go get -insert favorite expensive treat-"

If you guys never got paired up and you were just a funny background person in his life until you dated he probably didn't notice his feelings until he found you making him smile everyday with a little tingle in his stomach BUT if you did end up being like a friendly person with him time to time where you sometimes chatted and did get partnered up in classes lets just say you guys had that type of friendship where you were like "I hate you so f-ing much" AS A JOKE- Everyone knew you guys liked each other and i feel that Junko wouldn't say to someone that they like em with one of those cheesy confessions because I think that she doesn't actually know what she feels about her relationships with people. You guys also had a platonic relationship at first but everyone else knew it secretly wasn't platonic! But either way you guys end up chatting. And its probably those late nights when he has those butterfly's in his stomach going crazy when your messaging or making plans or on a call. Its those times that he knows that he loves you and that he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to have a future with you and all of your crazy personality's. ANYWHO TIME FOR THE DATING PART!!! When your wearing really revealing stuff he'd probably either A. Get very flustered and protective OR B. get very angry and be a guard dog at whoever dares to look at you too long in a weird way. Either way hes most likely very flustered if you just hold his hand when wearing revealing things Adding on to when you were just friends and you where failing your test and you became gloomy but then like "Anywho!" Yeah now that your dating and if your in a trance about "God Im so boring" He'd probably give you a lot of comfort and you guys have a honest life to life chat.

Here's a Semi-Scenario

-Chilling on the couch perferably you laying your head in his lap on your phone- "God life is so boring.. There's nothing good anymore!-" You then shift towards him making him flustered. "Although you make you slightly more enjoyable"

Nagito

Pre-dating he kinda like did his awkward smile and rubbed the back of his head while you said random funny stupid stuff-

Due to his luck there's no way in hell you didnt get paired up. I mean what do you expect 🤨 his luck not pairing him up with the soon to be love of his life to make y'all fall deeply inlove? Your relationship before or while dating is always him teasing you and you bossing him around. Kinda cute. When he finds out he has a crush hes definitely laying on his bed thinking "but why would someone as amazing as them want to date me! Or even hangout with such a useless being such as me…" If you wear revealing things (or something like Junko was wearing when she was in the car with Murkuro and tried to stab her…) and make him go shopping you'd probably grab his hand and drag him to the next store and everyone would think your dating before its official. He would also be carrying the bags. I mean we gotta put him to work!!! he finds all your personalities and your changes very hopeful. Something with like every time you change your personality you rid yourself of despair. Or some dumb thing. Your first unofficial kiss was probably on his like forehead or on the lips. Even before you where dating. You just like gave him a little peck to show your thankful for the dumbshit he does with you. DATING TIME!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA He would most likely say "Its pretty cold out dont you wanna cover up abit?" and you'd respond with "Nah i dont do cold. I'd rather be sexy" heres something he'd say while your bitching about how boring you are!!

he'd gently run his fingers threw your hair while your huddled up in his jacket on a park bench. "You shouldn't say this about yourself it fills you with despair. And that's not very hopeful love.""I know! But like still. Dont you get tired of all of my dumbshit?" You reply." I love you for who you are and thats that." Then some dumbass kid runs up to you. "hey uhm! Your kinda sitting on me and my friends ben-" "FUCK OFF IM HAVING A MOMENT WITH MY BOYFRIEND"

Sayori

Mwah heres a extra because i love you guys sm.

Okay so lets say your not neighbors and your in the same classes. And maybe lets also say shes handing out flyers for the festival! Out side of your classroom… You guys where Semi- friends so all good! And you gave her a gentle smile as you walked by!! That won her over. The whole club pampered her with "Oo! Sayori has a crushhh" or "When do we get to meet them?" Monika probably told them to chill if Sayori got too shy. She found you cool and bold! And in English when you wrote that essay ahout yourself she found all your personalities really cute and how you described them!! -insert love stuff- She could probably talk to you for hours at a time even if you already finished the assigned project! I dont have many ideas for dating hcs so heres her Introducing you to the club while dating!!

"y/n cmon!! They're really nice!!!" Sayori reassured you. You decided you'd be a brat in that moment. Why? Because your bored!! "finee" She ran you into the club for you to see them practically having a tea Party. "Welcome Y/N! Sayori hasnt stopped talking about you. Care for a Cupcake? Natsuki makes the best ones ever!" Monika greeted you."Hey!…You don't have to say that!!" Natsuki blushed at Monikas comment. Its a chaotic club and you and Sayori enjoyed it together.

This is probably the longest ive ever written 😭

Anywho! I hope you enjoy it!!

[aetheve]

hello! I came from your Icarus dorm assignments, can I get sorted into one?

favorite character: I like them all but Floyd is my number one <3

favorite teacher: Mozus trein, I like his cat

zodiac: Virgo sun, Sagittarius rising, Cancer moon

rice purity score: idk

thing appealing about me: I like to think I'm pretty ❤️

book smarts or street smarts: is neither a option??? but I guess street smarts

dry texter or not: dry texter, I've been told that too many times 😭

introvert or extrovert: introvert

cats or dogs: CATS!!!!! I like some dogs doe just some

favorite song: none but my latest obsession is Honeymoon Un Deux Trois cover by dongdang

lead or follow: follow

─ I like story based games and otome games! I hate and despise horror and gore. I only have a small group of friends, and a casual relationship with everyone else. I never did dislike someone or had a crush on someone before. My friends had said I was kinda insensitive and too indifferent about some things. They did say I'm nice to hangout and talk with doe, only if I made effort to make friends.

─ making and keeping relationships is hard for me especially if I don't see them everyday like school or smth. I would feel lazy to text them or anything, just not making any effort to start or continue anything. ofc I'd say hi and stuff if I see them but nothing beyond school unless I know them for very long alr. I rarely trust people wholely, just some small doubts here and there, I never act it out doe. I love gossip and drama lol, hate it when I'm involved doe but they're entertaining.

─ I don't rrly know how to react to insults, I just say okay and go. I say thanks for compliments or I know for close friends and family. I've been called dumb so many times I don't even care anymore 😭 I haven't failed any of my subjects except for maths, as long I graduate and don't get hold back everything is good. I'm mentally and physically weak.... and lazy and easily unmotivated. I've been told I look scary doe, ppl. socially awkward, I'm super forgetful, straightforward. I tend to be more honest, I'd feel bad for lying 😰 (sometimes) I have a good poker face so many tend to think I'm saying the truth when I'm just messing with them lol.

─ I like humour and laughing, that sounded kinda weird. I like people with humour, I laugh easily too. I hate exercising and I'm bad with technology which is kinda funny cause i don't think I can survive without any entertainment honestly and also bc they say I'm addicted to my phone sometimes 💀

is this enough??? hopefully I didn't miss anything, sorry if it's too much, thank you if you took up my ask! ❤️❤️ stay safe and hope you have a nice day or whatever timezone you're at

—- 🐉 WELCOME TO DIASOMNIA! a dorm based on the thorn fairy's spirit of nobility. twisted from sleeping beauty.

malleus enjoys going on walks with you, very specific i know. you don't actually have to be talking to each other he just enjoys your vibez yk? you're his go to person when he needs to complain about the inaccuracy of magic class. if someone insults you, you'll both stand there with blank expressions before you look at one another wondering 'what now?'

sebek admires you, not as much as malleus though. you'll be his living diary. late at night you'd listen to him talk about his day and then he'll just fall asleep on your shoulder. i'd suggest listening to him in his room so you can just leave him to sleep when he passes out.

lilia love scaring you. you could be trying to sleep when he appears in your slightly opened closet looking like mf annabelle. it doesn't matter the time, he will go through hell and back if it means frightening you trust me. at some point, he deleted all your apps causing you to faint because your progress?! gone?! however if someone insults you he will roast their ass dwdw.

silver often naps, head resting on your lap, while you play on your phone. no words are spoken, you two just enjoy the presence of the other and that is all there is to it.

your close friend out of your dorm is idia. you two met online and you recklessly told him you attended the nrc and the rest is history. you're over there during school hours so you can study together without going to class and play games until school hours end because you have to go pick up your 'kids.'

"child of man, what's the matter?" malleus burst through your door, light from the outside flooding your room. your shaking hand pointed towards your closet, there you saw two red dot thingies that resembled eyes.

"uhh, malleus is everything alright?" sebek inquired, popping out from behind the housewarden. he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he watched malleus open your closet curiously. "huh.. who would've guessed yn'd be the type to have a life size lilia plushie.."

"this isn't a 'plushie'" malleus sighed, picking up the thing by its head. "it's lilia." a 'boo!' accompanied malleus' statement from the smaller fae.

"ha! you looked so scared–"

"we'll be going now."

bonus:

it took a while to calm your racing heart, you couldn't make yourself move as you eavesdropped on the not so quiet conversation outside,

"that wasn't funny, quit your giggling, malleus scolded.

"yeah, lilia, you should apologize–" sebak chimed in, slowly realizing his mistake weh nthe fae disappeared.

"sorry!" lilia reappeared above you, upside down for a minute to see your reaction before disappearing for the night.

"...in the morning." sebek added at the sound of your scream.

"done!" you giggled, turning your phone screen to your blue haired friend. "got luke's ending before you did, woo!" you collapsed on his bed with a sigh of relief at the released tension."

"eh? but that's impossible!" he stood examining your phone.

"but it isn't." you looked at him, amused by his distress. "i'm tired.." you mumbled, rolling onto your side.

"uh – uhm, sleep i have to figure out how on earth you beat me at this, it – it just isn't adding up?" he went back to typing away on his computer like a man on a mission, "i'll wake you up when it's time. unless you cheated…"

[stargaze-issei]

— "𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞" (𝐛. 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; when your father, the head of the japanese mafia, was killed, your childhood friend swore to protect you till his death. now, you're the empress of the underground world, and he doesn't know what's harder, to keep you safe or manage to hide his feelings. what will he do when, for the first time, your life's at risk and he isn't anywhere near?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; mafia!au, angst.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; swearing, mentions of blood, guns, murder, kidnap, yk... mafia stuff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; lemme know if u want a part two bc i felt like it was getting too long and i don't know if anyone will read it or like it 👉🏻👈🏻

"where the fuck are you?" bakugou's voice stroke over the phone, noticeably angry. he had told you several times to never go anywhere without him, which you mostly did, if it weren't for him being away a lot of times. nothing less was expected from your right hand, who handled every dirty job, and considering your line of work, it wasn't scarce. but you did had other bodyguards, just as trained as katsuki, willing to give their lifes for you, which was extremely better than having bakugou giving his life.

to his eyes, you were still the little girl from before. he saw you as a someone who needed protection. at first, you agreed. your father was murdered, someone managed to get through all his security and killed him, none of the guns he and his security team carried around could protect him, killing you would be like stealing a sweet from a baby. bakugou had always kept you safe, despite his agressive usual safe, he cared about you more than he cared for himself. so you stuck to his side, believing, hoping, he'd die for you. but that was a long time ago, now, you could defend yourself, and had raised a sense of loyalty in your people by your own. your father's empire was based in fear, yours? by admiration. you didn't see your people as working ants, but as important parts of a whole. still, anyone who was a threat to you, bakugou made sure to erase them forever.

"don't talk to me like that, i'm your boss" you could feel him losing his shit, a smile began to form in your face. even when everyone respected you, he was still the same.

"you can't boss anyone if you're fucking dead, you dumb shit" a laugh came out of your throat, he couldn't avoid smiling at the sound "wait, oh, okay, i know we're you are. stay there, i'll be in three" he hung up before you could reply.

you looked back, at one of your guards who was just putting away his phone. of course they told him. why couldn't you go get your own coffee? being in the office all day was tiring, to be five minutes outside was all you asked for. a few seconds after, they handed you your coffee, obviously, a guard had to try it first, in case that barista wanted to suddenly murder you. of course he didn't.

"who let her go outside without me knowing, huh?" a furious katsuki appeared through the door, making a scene in the place. you gave him a warning look. if there was something you hated, was that. everyone in the area knew who you were, but why make it any more obvious. those people were just living their usual lifes, and people tend to get nervous around you. "the car is waiting outside" he understood, but you knew he was going to scold you anyways.

you walked outside, smiling, and got into the car, followed by katsuki and one of his subordinates, the other one got in the front sit, next to the driver.

"save it, i'm n–"

"the fuck you are" he cut you "your safety is my responsibility, if i say you can't go out without me, then you fucking don't. specially not when there are people after your head" there was no denying he was right, but still, it upset you.

"there's always people after my head, bakugou".

two weeks ago, two men went into your office. they were in charge of some dealing territories, though small, important. most contraband had to pass those places, you controlled those police departments making everything easier to your truck drivers. they were beaten, cover in blood and barely standing.

"our men, all of them... they all..." only one of them could talk, the other being too shocked to even look at you. "kazuhito's men, it was them... they said we had to tell you, they're coming after you" you couldn't show any fear in front of your so called soldiers, and your template remained at ease. a shout was enough to get those men the help they needed, after holding their hands, you promised to go see them once they were checked by doctors. you called bakugou as soon as they left, he was the first who should know and help you decide what to do next.

the kazuhito family had always been rivals, enemies of the worst kind. everyone suspect they were behind your father's assassination, but with no proof, even you knew it would be the biggest mistake to charge against them, despite your personal desires.

"i already told the drivers they had to take rout b for a while, but we can't let them just keep what's our" you explained to katsuki once he arrived. "those drugs have to get in town by us, damnit". it was clear how frustrated you were, those assholes had mess with your and your father's hardwork.

"if we retaliate, a war will unchain. your father tried to avoid that for years"

"and see how he ended up" bakugou didn't know if it was the anger, or you talking. "we will lose everyone's respect if we don't do something, they killed dozens of our people, katsuki".

he was trying hard to stay objective in that situation, but it was near impossible. a war would put you in more danger than ever, your life was at stake, and bakugou wasn't sure if he was willing to risk it. growing up by your side, your father taking him in when his parents died, you were his only family. more than that, he loved you. the only reason he was able to do his job right, was the fear of losing you. your head was already valued in millions, how could he protect you in the middle of a conflict, that would end only with your death or the kazuhito's leader's death? your power was bigger than theirs by little, but they did something that reckless, which meant they thought they had out powered you. had they? or were they just bluffing? had they miscalculated?.

"we're taking action, wether you support me or not" you looked into each other's eyes, you knew him enough to understand his fear, just not the reason behind it. your voice softened "but i'd much rather do it with you by my side".

"you're the boss" he spoke, already regretting it "i'll schedule a meeting so the high charges let everyone else know, i'm staying at your place so we can trace a plan".

and there you were now, being reprimanded by bakugou. he was extremely tired, he decided to stay with you until things were calmer, which could be several months from then. getting up at six a.m, going to sleep past midnight, being always looking for possible threats, it had given him bags under his eyes.

"i'm sorry" you said once you were alone with him, it was only then that you could let your guard down "i'm making this harder for you".

"yeah, you are. but it's my job, after all" that came out wrong, he thought. it wasn't his job, it was his fucking life purpose. he wanted you to live a long, happy life, as hard as it seemed.

"i guess it is" deep down, his response disappointed you.

"hey, look at me" out of nowhere, his body was insanely close to yours, you felt his breath in your face as he lifted your chin with his finger "there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, got that, dumbass?"

for a brief moment, the taste of his lips was all you could think about. i bet they're soft. but as fast as it started, it was over, katsuki pulled away harshly, inventing an excuse to leave. he had flown too close to the sun, so close that it burned his skin.

a few more people went to see you that day, asking for diverse permissions, advice and stuff like that. since it had been slow, compared to other times, you decided to home early. a call to your team, and the car was already outside. bakugou left instructions for your departure, because he had things to do somewhere else, much to his displeasure. you were accompanied by your escorts to the doors of the building, that seemed like a normal office compound. there were waiting two other guards, making a total of six people protecting you. way to go, bakugou.

"how's your wife, ryota?" you asked the driver. of course, not everyone fitted in the same car, so you got into the second one, middle seat, between a built up woman and a big man. you tried to remember everyone's name, but it was difficult.

"she's good, ma'am, sends her regards" he smiled at you over the mirror.

"and the baby? he must be a month old, right?" at the memory of his child, his face lightened "you should take some days off, i bet your wife and son miss you"

"i have a duty with you, m–" a loud impact interrupted him, the front glass had exploded. the car had an abrupt movement back and forward, all you could see was blood, everywhere.

the woman next to you took her gun out, in order to protect you , you thought, completely wrong. before everyone could react to her act, she shot the guard in front of you.  you looked at your side, searching for someone alive, the same bullet that had killed ryota was in the guard's at your right forehead. besides you , the only other person was that woman. if she hadn't glasses on, that stare could've seen throughout your soul. then you remembered, katsuki made you bare with a knife under your sleeve. with a weird move, you felt its sharpness against your skin, it was there, but she read you like a book. before you could even pull it out, another shot stroke followed by a intense pain in you thight. the bitch had shot you. you blamed it on the adrenaline, because nothing hurt. what happened after was a couple of blurry images in your memory.

bakugou had called you more than a hundred times, you, the drivers, the guards, everyone in his fucking team, but no one knew anything. the cameras at your house never showed you arriving, your phone's location was off. he was out of his head, if he didn't hear from you in the next five minutes, someone's going to die. he rushed into his car, following your rout at a dangerous speed. 

both cars were full of bullet holes, and every guard he had hired was dead. there wasn't a place without blood. tears of pure rage came to his eyes, fuck, it was his fault. he started to look for you, but the whole world was spinning around him. where were you? where was your body? were you alive?, this couldn't be happening. he had left you unprotected, alone, and now you could be dead, because of his uselessness. his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"sir, we– we have– the kazuhito's are here" he left as fast as he came. they had touch you, they had taken you away from him, and he wasn't going to let them get away with it, even if he had to go against a whole army, whoever was behind it all was going to pay.

a man in a suit was sitting in the chair of your office, smoking a cigarette, as calm as a rock. katsuki was so close to rip his head of right there, that somebody had to hold him down. his own people updated him, saying that he had gone into the building alone, with no weapons of any kind, not even a cellphone.

"where the fuck is she?" he crashed his hand against the desk.

"ah, mr. bakugou, please take a se–"

"tell me where she is right now if you want to keep your head, fucking bastard" his hand had wondered to the tip of the gun in his belt, menacing to blow up at any second.

"you won't do that, mr., if i don't return to my people in one hour, she'll be so fucked up that not even you will recognize her" a laugh surge grom bakugou, a dark, cold laugh.

"i don't have to kill you, then" one of the man's hand rested in the desk, like asking for katsuki to rip it off his body. as you did, he also carried knifes under his shirt. in less than a second, one of them was buried into the man's hand. he screamed, both in shock and pain, giving your bodyguard a hatred look. "what do you want, shitface?"

"i-it's quite simple, actually" his face was white as paper, and even though he wanted to talk normally, his voice shivered "we want you to take over the y/l/n's business, under our command of course" he let out a sigh, trying to keep his composure and ignoring his bleeding hand "if you– if you agree, she will have to leave japan and never..."

bakugou won't agree to that. not now and not ever. to give away what you and your father built from scratch, and spent decades keeping safe, was like killing your child, and your father's memory. to send you away, alone, where he most likely won't see you again in years, was also off the table. it wasn't funny anymore. he started walking around the man's chair, picking up his sleeves. he checked the clock in the office, he had forty-five minutes with the man, meaning, forty-five minutes to make him talk. he ressourced to every fast interrogation method he knew. the people outside the door weren't surprised when they heard the man's screams, even wondering what had taken so long for the boss to start acting. katsuki was never a patient man. his senses were blocked, he couldn't hear anything but screams and begging, all his eyes could see was pain through all the man's body, his hands felt nothing but warm blood. but for the first time in a while, he wasn't enjoying it. he was doing it out of need, the need to save you. every minute that went by, was a minute were your life risked. he never felt so close to losing his sanity.

"outside the city! she's in one of our safe houses outside the city! i don't know which, please stop!" ten minutes before the timeline he finally gave up. your intelligence had all their safe houses, storages, garages, every location needed. not a second passed when one of yours men delivered a map with all the points marked. there were five in total.

"throw him outside in ten minutes" he shouted, walking to the armory "two teams, six people each, my fucking people, hear me? now, dammit! we're leaving in a minute, if i have to go by my fucking self, i'll do it"

when he was armed to the teeth, almost a dozen of people followed him outside. they were his most trusted men and women, being trained together, he knew they were as skilled as him, and they were all willing to put their life's at stake for you, their boss. in the car, bakugou barked the instructions. he had narrowed it down to two possible locations with all the information he had. if they had to kill every person in those places, then be it. he's going to get you back.